Revenge of the Killer Kitsune's Revenge
by LoveCas98
Summary: A completely new and original story that features a completely new villain recycled from a previous villain! Featuring an ensemble cast with an Emmy-calibre story. And this time, it's personal... Crack-fic.


Suddenly, Scott burst into Stiles' bedroom. Stiles quickly put his pants back on and closed his laptop. "Scott, what's wrong? Is it another Kitsune?"

"Worse," Scott replied. "It's another Kitsune." The Kitsune was a monster that teen wolf, Scott, and his teen wolf friends fought with their non-teen wolf friends when they fought it together to fight the Kitsune. And now, it's back. And this time, it's personal. Then Scott said, "And this time, it's personal."

"Scott, what do we do?" Stiles asked. "What if it possesses me again?" Stiles slowly walked over to the mirror. He reached his hand to his face and started peeling. He started ripping pieces and pieces off his face and throwing them to the floor. "No… No… Scott, it's happening again!"

"No, it's not," Scott replied. That's cheese you're peeling off your face. You fell asleep on your lunch again."

Stiles pulled one final piece off his face. He stared intently at what was in his hand. He let go, put his pants back on and then looked at the piece of cheese in his other hand. Slowly, he brought it to his mouth as his lips parted like the Red Sea. He placed it sensually in his mouth and started to chew. Scott nodded, approvingly. Stiles ate the cheese and then ate some of the cheese off the floor because that's just the guy he was.

"Mvmpth, pthsh, mvshtpl," Stiles said.

Scott looked at him disapprovingly. "Swallow…"

Stiles swallowed his cheese. "Sorry."

Suddenly, Chris Argent burst in the room. Scott quickly put his pants back on and closed Stiles' laptop. Chris turned and stared intently at Scott. Scott stared intently back. We zoom in on Chris' eyes. Then we zoom in on Scott's eyes. Back to Chris. Back to Scott. Chris, Scott, Chris, Scott, Chris, Scott!

"Stiles! That's the new Kitsune!" Scott screamed. "Dogpile!" Stiles, Scott, Lydia, and Kira all jumped on Chris Argent.

"Get off me!" Chris yelled. "I'm not the Kitsune!"

"He's right," said Derek, who had just put his pants back on. "He's not the Kitsune. He's my best friend. Get off him right now or I'll go all wolf on your. Roar."

Everyone got off Chris because they either were scared of Derek or had a new-found respect for him after what happened in Cleveland over the summer. All the die-hard Teen Wolf fans know about Cleveland, so I won't go into it here.

"Derek, you've got a lot of explaining to do!" said Lydia. "I'll never forgive you for what happened in Cleveland, but I'll never forget what you did for me in Cleveland."

Derek knew the stakes were high. He opened the window to his loft to let some light in. He took his spaghetti sauce off the stove so it wouldn't burn then he explained the story to his best friends.

"It happened like this. When we were fighting the Kitsune, it got away for a little bit. During that time, the Kitsune fell in love. But what it fell in love with… well… let's just say, it wasn't human. It was a shark! The Kitsune and the shark mated! And then the shark had a baby! And now, we're all being hunted by a Kitsharkne! True story."

The group processed this devastating information as the author daydreamed about his inevitable Emmy win. Then Lydia got on the computer and looked up the address to the producers of the show because she was sure if they just read this they'd definitely hire me as a staff writer and everything would finally work out.

"But what does this even mean?" asked Isaac, who surprisingly hasn't been killed off yet.

"Kitsharkne's are the true embodiment of evil," replied Chris Argent who knew everything about everything. "They have all the power of the Kitsune and all the even cunning of the shark. Not only that, they can appear anywhere where there's water."

Stiles took his hands out of his pants and gasped! This was all so overwhelming. He had just recently overcome being a Kitsune and didn't like them at all. He also didn't like sharks since a shark killed his best friend before Scott, Devin Stormcloud.

Devin Stormcloud was also a teen wolf. That was when Stiles first learned about teen wolves. But right before Devin Stormcloud was eaten by a man-eating shark, Devin Stormcloud used that "Men In Black" memory thingy so Stiles would forget all about teen wolves and live a normal life. Fat lotta good that did! This story is canon.

"You mean the Kitsharkne can appear out of any source of water?" asked Chris Argent, even though he was the one that just explained that. All of a sudden, Chris Argent was thirsty! Slowly he brought the glass of water to his lips.

Stiles took his hand out of his pants and gasped as the Kitsharkne suddenly appeared out of the glass of water. He watched in amazement as Chris Argent was already ready for it because he's always prepared for everything. He's so cool! Chris Argent pulled out his gun and stabbed the Kitsharkne until it fell to the ground. Then he shed a tear for his former daughter, Allison. But just one tear, because she got a little annoying in the later seasons.

"Is it dead," asked Kira as she was eating rice.

The camera zoomed into Lydia's face and bumped her nose! Lydia's eyes grew really wide as the camera zoomed into her face! Then she screamed and blew out everyone's eardrums! "IT'S STILL ALIVE!" she screamed at the top of her lungs!

"What?" asked everyone.

Alan Deaton then cast a ancient druid spell to restore everyone's hearing. Only he knew how to truly destroy the Kitsharkne. But he didn't know for sure if it would work, so he didn't bother telling anyone and then left.

Suddenly, the wind started blowing all around them. A storm was brewing in Beacon Hills. But this storm was deadly. But nobody knew that yet. But they were all about to find out. The storm sucked up the Kitsharkne and started spinning it around!

"Oh, no!" one of the new main characters, Claudia Nightingale, yelled. Claudia pulled out her special nunchucks that everyone was familiar with. She tried to attack the Kitsharkneado but then her character was killed off instead in a surprising twist! She slowly fell to the ground as dramatic music played. I'd tell you what music it was, but it was only licensed for the tv show and not for fan fiction. Everybody started crying and ran to Claudia's collapsing body. Stiles and Lydia got there first and bumped heads because they got there at the exact same time. They stared deeply into each other's eyes. Could this be their moment? Then Malia came into the room and everything was awk-waaaaaaard! Oh, right… the Kitsharkneado was still going on.

Derek pulled out a knife and started shooting at the Kitsharkneado! The attacks did no effect because the Kitsharkneado's evasion skill was over 90!

"It's no use!" Chris Argent screamed! "Our attacks are useless! There's no way we can beat it! There's only one way to beat it!"

Suddenly, Scott knew the only way. "You don't mean…"

"Yes," Chris replied seriously. "It's the only way."

"What does he mean, Scott?" Kira asked.

Scott turned into a teen wolf and his eyes glowed red.

"Oh, my God!" Kira exclaimed. "You're a teen wolf! I didn't see that one coming!" Kira was secretly a good Kitsune, but no one except Scott, Stiles, Lydia, Kira, Derek, Isaac, Chris Argent and a bunch of other people knew her secret. She knew she couldn't never tell nobody or it would mean the end of her secret that most people already knew about. Also she had random electrical powers. Remember that because it'll be important in a second.

"He means we have to cross the streams," Chris replied. "But didn't you say never to cross the streams?" Chris asked. "Yes," Chris replied. "But it might be the only way."

Meanwhile, the Kitsharkneado had escaped and was wreaking havoc all over the beach and had already killed hundreds of people. Whoops.

"Well, I'm glad that's over," Scott said after they beat the Kitsharkneado.

Stiles took his hands out of his pants and agreed. Then he closed the bathroom door and was in there for like two hours doing… something. Oh, Stiles…

"Scott," Kira began. "Do you want to make out with me? I'll let you get to first and a half base…" Kira began to unbutton her shirt until Scott could see more shirt underneath.

"Okay," Scott said. "But this time, it's personal." Scott put his hands all over TV-14 acceptable parts of her body. But as soon as the camera turned away, Kira slapped him because he was getting too fresh and she wasn't a slut like Allison was.

Once Scott and Kira were done making out and Stiles was done master… err… going to the bathroom for two hours, the met in the hall and gave each other the greatest high five the world had ever known!


End file.
